What is this thing call mall?: REVISITED
by speedo fannypacker
Summary: Another trip to the mall to prove that once again, it is an evil place.


I couldn't help myself I simply HAD to write another one-shot for this. As you can see I tend to write a lot of one-shots and don't focus on my main stories like I should be doing. Ah, well whatever. This time I added even MORE characters!

**What is this thing called mall: REVISITED!**

"Hey, hey tomorrows Hinata's birthday huh?" Kiba poked Shino as the casually strolled down the street as if they did that everyday. Shino had only agreed to come because Kiba told him he was treating him to lunch. And everybody loves free food. Normally, Hinata would've been with them but she had caught a cold and taken the day off.

"I don't know, and don't touch me," Shino answered brushing the spot off where Kiba had poked him.

"Oh come on it's not like I'm contaminated," he glared.

"Why do you care anyway?" Shino asked.

"Well we ARE her teammates, don't you think we should at least get her a present or something? Are you that cold hearted? How dare you Shino!" Kiba was just about to launch into one of his 'I'm way better than you' speeches before Shino silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"Okay, okay I get it we need to get a present for her," he sighed, why did he ever bother to come? Oh yeah, free food.

"What should we get her?" Kiba kicked a rock on the ground.

"Why don't you ask one of the other girls, they'd probably know," Shino replied.

"Nah, they'll probably think I'm going out with her or something," Kiba grinned.

Shino was just about to reply with a "yeah right," but decided not to because that seemed awfully mean, good thing Naruto and Lee had popped up out of the bush on the side of the road. They were conveniently spying on Kiba and Shino. 

"Oh ho ho ho! Getting a present ehh?" Lee said arching an eyebrow.

"Holy cheese!" Kiba shouted as he almost tumbled over.

"Were you guys spying on us?" Shino asked equally shocked.

"Uh…no…we were…just conveniently in that bush when you guys walked by!" Naruto said trying to think up a convincing story.

"Right," Kiba gave them a skeptical look, "anyways, yeah we're looking for a present for Hinta since it's her birthday tomorrow, but it's not like we're going out or anything like that," he added even though none of them had accused him of doing so.

"Oh goodie! I love present shopping!" Lee exclaimed clapping his hands together happily.

"I don't! I have no idea what to get her!" Kiba sighed.

"Perhaps we should go to the mall to find something?" Shino joined in on their conversation after being silent for a while.

"Noooooooooo!" Naruto shrieked after Shino's suggestion. After that Lee joined in making them sound even worse.

"Stop!" Kiba growled, his sensitive ears couldn't take it.

"Was it something I said?" Shino looked around.

"The mall is the worst and most dangerous place EVER! Don't go there!" Naruto begged Kiba.

"Ever!" Lee contributed after Naruto.

"What are you talking about the mall is perfectly safe," he cocked an eyebrow.

"They have evil stalkers and pedophiles there!" Naruto shouted.

"What?" Shino stared at them.

"That one lady at the Victoria Secret shop tried getting Neji to model for the WOMEN'S underwear!" Lee shuddered.

"Are you sure you guys went to a mall? You're positive you didn't go to some prison right?" Kiba started backing away.

"Even ask Sasuke!" Naruto whined.

"You mean Sasuke was stupid enough to go with you?" Shino lost respect for the Uchiha instantly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke's voice popped out of nowhere scaring the begeezes out of everybody.

"Don't do that!" Naruto took long deep breaths.

"Sasuke you HAVE to help them…they want to go to the…the MALL!" Lee grabbed onto Sasuke and shook him.

"Have fun," Sasuke turned around and walked away even though inwardly he was cowering like a little kid on the inside. After what had happened to him at the mall, all he wanted to do was forget all about it.

"See? He doesn't think it's bad either," Kiba pointed at Sasuke.

"Fine, stupid Sasuke we'll just have to go ask Neji," Lee and Naruto dragged Shino and Kiba off to Neji's mansion to prove that the mall really was something to be afraid of. The word was like taboo to them! Sasuke decided to follow because he really had nothing better to do, well, besides plotting his brothers 'inevitable death.'

"Neji! Neji! Where art thou Neji!" Naruto wailed as he came barreling through the Hyuuga's private training grounds. They found Neji with his byakugan activated and counting birds again.

"Lee, what did I tell you about coming into my house without permission?" Neji rubbed his temples.

Lee scratched his head, "Don't?"

"Yes, so why are you and them," Neji pointed at the bunch, "here?"

"Well you see I have a very good reason for doing so!" Lee struck his pose, "they want to go to the," he paused and then whispered, "the mall!"

"That's good for them," Neji replied in a monotone and went back to counting the birds, even though he, too, knew the mall was a very creepy place with people wanting guys to model in women's underwear.

"Well he obviously doesn't have a problem with it so why is it that you guys seem to traumatized by just going to the mall?" Shino grumbled.

"Argh! Curse you Neji!" Lee shook his fists.

"Fine then, we'll just have to show you the horrors!" Naruto grabbed Kiba, Neji, and Sasuke and ran off leaving Lee to tend to Shino.

"So…uh…you ready to go?" Lee held his hand out.

"Don't touch me," Shino brushed his hand off and followed the cloud of dust that Naruto had made.

Meanwhile…

Shikamaru and his bestest buddy Chouji were walking along like best buddys should when Naruto came cavorting down the street carrying Neji, Sasuke, and Kiba in his arms. He zipped past the two of them followed by Lee and Shino.

"Did you just see that?" Shikamaru pointed at the group.

"Nope," Chouji answered as they continued walking.

It wasn't long until Naruto noticed that he had passed Chouji and Shikamaru, why not kill two birds with one stone? Or in his case four birds. He whirled around and turned back to pick the two up.

"Hey! You guys we're going to the mall want to come?" Naruto stopped in front of them.

"That's too troublesome," Shikamaru sighed rubbing his head.

"Will there be food?" Chouji's stomach grumbled.

"Uh…sure?" Naruto lied.

"I'm in." Chouji then picked EVERYBODY up and started to walk towards the mall.

"Why is it that every time I go anywhere with you guys I always end up being picked up by somebody?" Neji muttered as he was trapped between Shino and Lee. In his head he blamed the head family because he knew somehow they were connected to this uncomfortable ness he was experiencing. They ALWAYS were.

"Ow! That was my face you just kicked, Sasuke!" Naruto squirmed around only causing more discomfort to the rest of them.

"I know." Sasuke smirked.

"Hey!"

Chouji finally stopped in front of the mall and dropped them in a very unorganized fashion into a pile onto the ground making them all grunt after falling on top of each other.

"Get your butt out of my face," Shikamaru grumbled as he pushed Naruto off of him. Shino had gotten his glasses knocked off and was feeling around for them but unfortunately he grabbed Kiba's foot making Kiba spasm and kick Shino in the face.

"Ow!" Shino rubbed his cheek.

"My bad," Kiba handed Shino his glasses.

"Somehow I get the feeling you planned that," Shino snatched the glasses away and set them back onto his face.

"I don't remember that being there," Lee pointed at the large ice rink.

"Anybody up for some skating?" Kiba asked, and before waiting for an answer he started to walk over to the counter where they distributed the skates.

"How did we miss that?" Sasuke asked following suit.

"I noticed it," Neji announced even though he really didn't see it, even with his byakugan.

"Me too," Naruto nodded, "just didn't tell you guys because you seemed to want to go to that Victoria Secret place right Neji?" he nudged Neji with his elbow and winked.

"Hn," Neji grumbled.

Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji didn't actually want to go skating, but followed anyways because nobody wants to get separated from your friends at the mall!

"I'll race you Sasuke," Naruto grinned and laced his skates.

"Whatever," Sasuke turned away not wanting Naruto to know that he really didn't know how to skate, after that he activated sharingan and copied some really pro skater and smirked.

"I'll race you Naruto," Kiba stalked towards the rink, took one step, and fell flat on his face.

"Haha Kiba you suck!" Naruto jumped up and made his way towards the rink.

"What about you Neji? Would you like a friendly race?" Lee asked Neji who seemed to be having a tad bit of trouble lacing his skates.

Neji, who was inwardly blaming the main house for his lace finally looked up and said, "No."

"Why?"

"Just because. I don't even know why I'm here in the first place."

"Fine, I'm sure Naruto will race me anyways," Lee pouted.

"What's your excuse?" Neji asked Shino.

"I don't do ice." Shino tossed his skates aside.

"And you?" Neji turned to Chouji.

"I don't have one! I'm going on the rink!" Chouji grinned and pulled the laces tighter.

"Way too troublesome," Shikamaru told Neji knowing that he would ask him next.

Meanwhile…

Sasuke was gliding gracefully around the rink trying not to laugh at Lee, Kiba, and Naruto's futile attempts to skate. So far they had, fallen on their faces, fallen on their behinds, or ended up in a pile.

"Stop distracting me Kiba!" Naruto growled as he slipped again.

"Tell Lee to stop grabbing onto me then!" Kiba grabbed onto the ledge.

"Not doing it on purpose!" Lee grasped Kiba again and ended up pulling him down along with Naruto who Kiba had dragged along.

"What'd you do that for?" Naruto groaned, "I was just getting used to it too!"

"You guys are pathetic," Sasuke skated by them elegantly.

"Shut up Sasuke," Naruto glared at him.

"Don't get mad just because I'm better than you," Sasuke sneered.

"Are you guys okay?" Chouji had skated over with ease.

"What! Even HE can skate better than me!" Kiba pointed at Chouji, "I will not stand for this blasphemy!" with that he wobbled a bit and stood up attempting to skate.

"I think I'll go get Neji, he's got his skates on but he hasn't come out into the rink yet!" cried Lee as he made his way back to Neji.

"Hi." Lee waved to Neji.

"What?" Neji stared at him.

"Aren't you going to go out?" Lee motioned for him to skate out.

"No."

"Then why did you pay for your skates?"

"It was the main house's fault," Neji accidentally blurted out because it was a conditioned reflex.

"What? Are you still uptight because of that stuff?" Lee asked confused. But then he decided that even if Neji didn't want to go onto the ice, he would HAVE to. Even if Lee was going to have to pick him up to do it! He cautiously made it over to Neji and picked him up.

"What are you doing! Unhand me!" Neji squirmed around.

"No!" Lee ran as fast as he could back to the rink after that he set Neji down on his feet and shoved him as had as he could. That was pretty hard. Neji went flying towards Naruto, Sasuke, Chouji, and Kiba causing him to crash into all four of them like a bowling ball. They all ended up in a giant heap on the ground dazed.

"What in the world was that!" Naruto moaned as his face was peeled off the ice.

"I think it was Neji," Kiba pointed at the Hyuuga that was at the top of the pile.

Sasuke who had ended up on the bottom under Chouji felt around for any broken bones, to his relief there wasn't, but he could've sworn he had broken all of his bones.

"I felt my life flash before my eye!" Chouji wailed.

"What's the big deal Neji?" Naruto finally got up.

"Lee pushed me," Neji glared daggers at Lee who was grinning cheekily.

"Want to go next Shino?" Lee started to come towards Shino. But Shino's bugs had appeared and scared Lee away, "don't touch me."

"Yeesh, I'm glad I wasn't in the middle of that," Shikamaru sighed as he leaned back.

"You guys are such party poopers," Lee was about to tell them about the springtime of youth but the intercom had interrupted him.

"All who wish to participate in red light green light report to the right end of the rink immediately."

"Oh yay! Red light green light!" Lee raced towards the rink forgetting about Shikamaru and Shino.

"Why are you here?" Shikamaru asked Shino trying to start a conversation.

"I don't know, Kiba and I are only supposed to be here because we were getting a present for Hinata," Shino adjusted his glasses.

"You're actually getting her a present?" Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow, "I'd never get Ino a present, she's way too loud."

"Yes, well I'm pretty sure Hinata is the polar opposite of Ino." Shino noticed a water stain at the edge of his glasses and proceeded to wipe it off.

"You can say that again," Shikamaru sighed.

"Yeah! I'm going to beat you ALL," Naruto punched the air.

"Sorry Naruto but I'M going to be winning," Lee started to kick the air.

"What am I doing here?" Neji looked around.

"Because I threatened to pick you up again if you didn't come," Lee asked.

"You do it and I'll gentle fist you to next Tuesday," Neji glared.

"I wish Akamaru was here…" Kiba said sadly, Akamaru was currently at the vet getting his annual check up, "we would have so much fun kicking you guy's butts!"

"You guys I think I'm going to skip this game," Chouji announced and began to skate back to where his best buddy Shikamaru, and his not so best buddy Shino was!

"What is this anyways?" Sasuke glared at the referee who kept blowing the whistle to make everybody settle down.

"Okay I'm going to assume that you guys already know the rules for the game, but for those who don't this is how the game goes: when I yell out green light you guys skate as fast as you can, and when I yell out red light you must stop or you're out."

"Seems simple enough," Neji scoffed.

"Ready? Set…Green light!"

All five of them shot off and skated as if their lives depended on it.

"Right, left, right, left," Lee murmured to himself as he glided along gingerly. Even some of the toddlers were beating him.

Naruto and Kiba weren't do so well either, both of them had fallen on their faces when trying to skate off, Kiba had tripped and grabbed onto the back of Naruto's shirt making Naruto do a face plant too.

"This is all your fault! I would've gotten WAY farther if not for you!" Naruto whined.

"Yeah right!" Kiba argued even though he knew that it was his fault.

Sasuke and Neji were currently at the front of the large group but when the referee shouted, "Red light!" Sasuke was startled and shifted off to the left side making him crash into Neji who had stopped successfully.

In the end all of them ended up being eliminated but Sasuke said he won because he made it the farthest even though he knew Neji was the one that really won.

"Well, that sure was an interesting day," Shikamaru said pushing the door open.

"Indeed," Shino stepped through the doorway.

"Who knew the mall was that fun?" Lee chuckled.

"How come when we went it was so scary?" Naruto rubbed the spot on his head where he had fallen on many times.

Everybody parted ways eventually except for Shino and Kiba whose houses were close to each other so they ended up walking together. After long moments awkward silence Kiba's eyes widened.

"We forgot to get Hinata a gift!"

Wow! 9 pages. I think that's a record! Well I had fun writing this, it took me about two days because when I started it I got really sleepy and went to bed forgetting about it. My bad. This really made me want to go ice skating…


End file.
